Jeffrey

Hawaii | San Francisco | Twenty

Anonymous asked: How do I make sure my gf doesn't catch me cheating on her?

alphabitches:

ok follow these simple steps:

1. pick up the trash
2. step outta ur house
3. open the trash can
4. step into the trash can

good now u r where u belong congrats!!!

College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”

"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"

"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"

"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"

"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."

"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"

(via infelicific)

(via vinnyzhao)

hartorotica:

- Joan Rivers, “I hate everyone… starting with me” (2013)

hartorotica:

- Joan Rivers, “I hate everyone… starting with me” (2013)